Hi may.

Hi guys. Oh my gawd , its May! How fast the days go by. Haven get ready to accept the May.

So how are you guys? I am not really fine because exam is around the corner.

Duh, STUDY STUDY AND STUDY.

Doesn't really do it because lazy. Okay I know I'm not suppose to do this.

I must score A or A+ in my Chinese Subject this time! #Hope I can do it.

Well, I am here to announce that my camera was death.

I dunno why, but I kinda happy because the camera really suck, maybe I can buy a new one.

Had my awesome Sunday with relatives.

Cousin's pet , MIMI.

Cousin's son. He is so so so cute.

I actually hate my fringe because it keep blocking my eyes.

Had our dinner at Thai Restaurant. 

Everything I love leave me. My watch either. 

You guys wondering why  can I take picture, in fact my camera was spoiled? Yea I lend a camera from my friend. 

Sunday, END.

I really feel the fearfulness about exam, I don't even have this feeling before, I take it very serious although is just Trial exam.

I really hope I can do well, I don't want to let myself disappointed even I know I will because I really have nothing inside my brain now. 

Yes, I am hopeless! Tho what makes me happier is I know who’s willing to stay despite no one left from those expected people who would you think would stay!

Your truly, 

Sze Xuan

那些年的老师.

有时候,真的在想,为什么要到学校上课?可是,当那些不能念书的小孩的样子一幕幕地在自己的眼前飞过时,我就告诉自己算了.

有时候真的觉得很惭愧,上课不专心,迷迷糊糊地又度过了一天.大人常问说:"上课真的那么闷吗？" 其实上课不闷，除了撇开自己的态度不谈，让人觉得闷的就是那些一成不变的课题和老师弹奏的催眠曲......就这样，又爱谁了。可是在别人的眼中，你不专心上课，就是你的错。

以前，我自认自己在小学的时候，还算是一个乖孩子，乖学生.至少，我任老师摆布。在那个童言无忌的年龄，谁还会去分别老师所说的话是对还是错的呢?

记得小学5年级上道德课时，老师教了我们一个叫诚实的价值观。其实，那时候我觉得道德课很多余，根本就是一个很无聊的科目。除了人性本善，人性本恶之外，你能确保一个人背完所有的Nilai和Definisi就能成为一个圣人吗？

或者是社会眼中的“好人”？一个人品行的好坏不是靠在学校"读"道德而学习的。老师叫了我的名字，问我：“思璇，如果你在地上看到RM50,你会怎么办？" 我回她，我会把钱拾起来自己用或者给父母。如我所料，全班一片嘘哗，老师也瞪大眼睛跟我说:“你这样不对，你应该把钱......" 那时的我，根本不想听老师说话，我觉得全班的人瞬间变得好假，什么路不拾遗，什么把钱送去警察局。

老师，你别告诉我如果只有你看到的话你也不去拾，或许在石器时代你说这些我还勉强相信，可是看看现今的社会，拜托，别闹了。

到了中学，叛逆的血液慢慢地在身体了滚动着，在父母和老师的眼中这个叫坏孩子，可是对我们而言，这种血液所散发出来的味道是权力和自由。如果你没有叛逆过，我看不起你。有时候大人不明白我们的举动，他们就认为我们所做的一切都是错的。

当我们在他们面前诉说老师那里不对的时候，到头来我们得到的是更多的不认同。我很疑惑，校规的哪一条说明了“老师永远是对的呢？”所以就连老师杀了人我们也要说这是对的吗？所以老师犯错我们学生甚至是校方也要睁一只眼闭一只眼吗？

大多数的“大人”，“老师”，“校长”，有多少位是真正的会用心去聆听学生的是非错对？在他们眼中，就一直保持着 “我是大人/校长/老师，我吃盐多过你吃米，所以我是对的，你一定错。” 很无奈，我们也只能接受。

分享一则“校”话，某校的老师在周会时说，有两个精英班的学生离开课室时忘了关风扇，关电灯，所以要罚款。这个老师是对的，做错事，应该处罚。突然，这个老师说了一句：“精英班怎么能犯了这样的错误，很失望。”“校”话结束。

这无疑是一则不是人人听得懂的“校”话，这笑话的重点，是最后那位老师说的一句话，“精英班怎么能犯了这样的错误，很失望。”我觉得很可笑，是不是说，放牛班的犯了这个错误的话就归为理所当然？精英班的学生是圣人吗？就算是圣人也会犯错。那么又有谁可以断定放牛班的学生一定是品行差？在现今的社会，还有谁会去真正实行有教无类的行动？就连老师也会带有色眼镜看人。老师，放牛班的学生也有尊严，就很像你也有一样。

我绝对不是那种没有站在别人立场想的人，就算我今天被罚排队，我很甘愿因为我犯错，就算我今天被扣分我很甘愿因为我没有做功课。

我不甘愿的是，为什么我们一定是错的？如果说老师是榜样的话，现在政府实行环保计划，是不是所有的老师都要搭公车，骑脚踏车到学校教书？可是没有啊，有的骑摩托车，有的驾名车。

不要总是认为学生不对，有很多时候反而是所谓的大人不够成熟。

老师，我会尊敬你的，但是你值得我尊敬吗？或许我说的话不对，我不是他们，我很难知道他们的苦衷。erhem，有些道理，是3岁小朋友也会的。又可能你认为我想得很简单，但这是我所看到的。

Days

Hi guys, ALOHA.

I'm here to make my blog alive, I know you hate me, as you know I'm not a totally blogger because I use to update my blog like "3 weeks, 1 post.". I swear I'll try my best okay?

So, its April now, and after a few more days is my birthday. You know what? I hate birthday sometimes. I will be very excited because my birthday is coming and I will be very disappointed when my birthday is over. Okay fine, I understand, birthday comes every year.

Another thing that I want to say is time passed super fast like....like....wind? Ok, wind. I admit that I don't really put effort in my study in March again, #sigh. 

Sometimes, I really hate myself. Its embarrassing, I'm supposed to know better. I really dunno how it happened. That I'm in this position, I can't help but feel like its my fault. I feel like people judge me. Hell, I judge me. Like I said, its so shame.

ARGH, I know I'm not encourage to be emo so I just stop here and continue my blog.

Really many things happened in March.

Like, Paris came to my house overnight again.

We just keep laughing and chatting. We even cheat during played game.

And the second day, we went to played basketball with our tuition teacher, I can't believe he is really so good in playing basketball, I mean, he doesn't look like a professional player. LOL.

And then, I suggested to overnight at London's house because my parents went back to hometown and I don't want HOME ALONE, so at last, SUGGESTION ACCEPTED. Or you can say, I force Paris because she don't feel like want to go. Ok, you can judge me. 

But before that, we cooked in my house, you see this picture, she MACAM YES ^^

Spaghetti as our dinner!

We reached London's house and we started to play computer! LOL, sounds like meaningless life started.

See who is Skyping with us??

I suggested to had a photo shooting , in her house, HAHAHA, I know we were crazy. 

London.

As I said , her house is nice. 

 You saw something? Yea, we were wearing same shirt. 

Really sorry for the suck quality camera. Mummy, if you see this, I just want to tell you, I WANT A CAMERA PLEASE.

The point of this picture is my hair, I am showing off my hair although I know is not too long, hahaha.

And then, is my Best Best Friend Wilson Teh Birthday!!

He is officially 17 now! Congratulations, but he already black listed me to sit his car because I keep said his driving skill might suck, hahaha.

I know him more than 6 years, wow, time passed really fast right? Like what I said.

This cake look nice right? Taste very nice too, done by Marcus's friend. 

Owh yea, its April hot news now, Paris just celebrated her 17 years old birthday few days ago!

Congratulations too! Remember fetch me when you got license. 

She was happy aren't she?

I celebrated her birthday with two different gang, and now is another gang!

My most lovely friends, Sot gang!

According to the camera problem, the colour might be a little bit weird.

She loved the card that Me and London made for her, I know its ugly. 

The special birthday "cake".

Jinpei.

Birthday girl love the surprised that I do for her. (I put her favorite SUBWAY COOKIES in her bag and the moment when she want to open her bag to took her purse, she get shocked ) I proud of myself.

Si Gay Lou ^^

London: Can eat already mah?

Finally the colour become normal.

Ok la love you la. 

I will try my best to update my blog when I am free. (I said this about so many times already )

Hope you enjoy. 

Your truly, 

Sze Xuan.